Have you ever told yourself, "I'm going to start blank tomorrow," only to wake up the next day and push it to next week? If so, congratulations—you’re human.
We’ve all been there. Hell, I’ve been trying to wake up at 5 AM every day for months, and I always hear myself saying, "I’ll start tomorrow." Sound familiar? One minute we’re fired up to make a change, and the next, the comfort of old habits (or hitting snooze) pulls us back in. That back-and-forth between wanting to improve and staying the same? That’s ambivalence, our old friend. And here’s the thing: it’s completely normal. In fact, it’s part of what makes us human.
Why We Resist Change—and Why It’s Normal
Psychologically, we’re wired for comfort and predictability. Our brains love routine because it conserves energy. When we introduce something new—like a habit or challenge—we’re not just altering our behavior, we’re asking our brains to burn more fuel to adapt. That’s why change feels uncomfortable, even when we know it’s good for us. We crave growth, but we’re biologically programmed to stick to what feels safe.
This is why ambivalence is so common. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s your brain trying to protect you from uncertainty. But here’s the truth: staying stuck in ambivalence won’t get you far. Acknowledging that push-pull within you is the first step, but taking action, despite the discomfort, is where the magic happens.
Why Change Feels Hard—and How to Overcome It
Change isn’t just about actions—it’s about identity. When habits like your eating, sleep, exercise, or stress management have been part of your life for so long, change feels like a tug-of-war between two selves: the one wanting to grow and the one fearing the unknown. It’s normal to think, "What if I fail? What if it’s too hard?"
These doubts aren’t signs of weakness—they’re simply your brain’s way of protecting you from perceived risks. But they don’t have to hold you back. To take control, ask yourself these two important questions:
- What’s good about NOT changing?
Every behavior, even the ones that sabotage your long-term goals, serves a purpose. Maybe that late-night snacking feels comforting after a stressful day. Or maybe skipping workouts gives you more time to unwind after work. These habits meet a need, so it’s really important to recognize what that is. - What’s bad about changing?
Change comes with perceived losses. It might mean more effort, risking failure, or disrupting your routine. Sometimes the fear of losing control or messing up your day makes change feel harder than it really is.
When you answer these questions honestly, you’ll uncover what’s truly holding you back—and what your current habits are doing for you. Once you see that clearly, it shifts everything.
How to Make the Change
Once you understand why you feel stuck, you can reframe your approach.
- Start Small.
Change doesn’t have to be a giant leap. Pick one small habit to shift at a time. If healthier eating is the goal, start by adding veggies to just one meal a day instead of overhauling your entire diet. Small, consistent wins build confidence. - Replace, Don’t Erase.
Instead of eliminating behaviors that serve a purpose, find healthier alternatives. If snacking with Netflix helps you relax, try swapping chips for a cup of herbal tea or unwinding with a warm shower. The key is to keep the emotional benefit without derailing your progress. - Focus on the Feeling.
Think about how you want to feel as a result of the change. More energized? Confident? In control of your health? Let those feelings drive your actions, rather than obsessing over perfection. - Reframe Failure as Feedback.
Change isn’t a straight path. You’ll have days where you slip into old habits, and that’s okay. Instead of labeling those moments as failures, see them as feedback and opportunities to learn. What triggered the behavior? What can you try next time? This mindset keeps you moving forward, no matter what.
Bringing It Home
Change is essential to growth. Without it, we stay stuck in the same patterns, wondering why things don’t get better. The beauty of change? It opens up new possibilities, new perspectives, and reveals strengths you didn’t even know you had.
Let’s be real—change isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it. When you embrace it, you’re not just tweaking your habits—you’re transforming who you are. You’re building mental toughness and learning that discomfort is temporary, but the rewards of pushing through are lasting. Every challenge builds resilience, and every step forward is a win.
So I encourage you to welcome change instead of resisting it. Lean into it. Ask yourself the hard questions, and take those small, consistent steps. Every bit of progress, no matter how tiny, brings you closer to becoming who you want to be.
Growth happens in the discomfort, and that’s where true strength is built. Next time you feel stuck, pause. Take a breath. Reflect on what’s holding you back, and then—take that first step. It doesn’t have to be huge; even small progress is still progress. You’ve got this, and with every step forward, you’re moving toward something better.
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