We’ve all had those days—maybe even weeks or months—where it feels like nothing is going right. Before your feet even hit the floor in the morning, the negative self-talk sneaks in: I’m not good enough. I’m not ready. I don’t have what it takes. Why is my life like this? Sound familiar? It’s easy to let one bad moment spiral into the belief that life itself is bad. I know this feeling all too well—because I’ve lived it.
When I was a brand-new nurse, I questioned myself every single day. I’d walk into the hospital wondering why I ever thought I had what it took to be a nurse. I watched more experienced nurses move confidently through their shifts while I constantly second-guessed everything I did—or even thought. The doubt was deafening.
Then, one night, I was assigned to a patient I’d cared for over the past two shifts. He’d been in a serious motorcycle accident, with multiple fractures in his ribs, clavicle, and sternum. Though his breathing had always been short and painful since the accident, something felt different that night. His breathing seemed slightly off, and the pain he described wasn’t matching what I’d seen before. My gut told me to say something to the resident on call, but the nagging voice in my head piped up: What if you’re wrong? You’re too inexperienced to know what’s going on.
But I pushed that doubt aside and spoke up anyway. I explained that I thought it might be a pulmonary embolism, and sure enough, the imaging confirmed my suspicions. Thankfully, I had acted in time and said something before it became a life-threatening situation. That moment reinforced something I’d been missing—even when I doubted myself, I still had something to offer. Trusting my instincts helped save my patient’s life that night, and it taught me a powerful lesson about showing up, even when self-criticism is loud.
The Reality...It Never Fully Goes Away
Here’s the part no one really talks about: that self-doubt? It doesn’t magically disappear. I wish I could say that after a few big wins, imposter syndrome packs its bags and leaves for good. But it doesn’t. Oh, and that negative self-talk? It’s never truly silenced. Both have a way of coming back—sometimes stronger and louder than ever. Even now, there are moments when I feel like I have no right to be doing what I’m doing. Whether it’s parenting, navigating adulthood, nursing, coaching, or writing, there are days when that little voice in my head whispers, "Oh, 'you got this'...You know that phrase doesn't apply to you, right?" On those days, I remind myself to ignore it and keep moving forward anyway.
The reality is this: Feelings aren’t facts. Just because you feel like you’re not good enough doesn’t mean it’s true. Emotions, while valid, don’t always reflect reality. Imposter syndrome feeds on feelings of inadequacy, but that doesn’t mean they reflect what’s real. The key isn’t waiting for the doubts or negativity to disappear—it’s learning to stop listening and push through them. Imposter syndrome might never fully go away, but you can learn to tune it out. It’s about showing up, doing the work, and proving to yourself, again and again, that you belong here.
I wanted to share a few of the techniques I use when negative self-talk and imposter syndrome show up. My hope is that one or two of these can help you and become tools you keep in your own toolbox for the future.
Actionable Steps to Quiet Negative Self-Talk and Say "See Ya Later" to Imposter Syndrome:
1. Turn “I’m Not Good Enough” into “What Can I Improve?”
Imposter syndrome thrives on that nagging feeling of not being enough, but we have the power to shift the conversation. Instead of spiraling into I’m not ready or I’m not enough, ask yourself, What action can I take to improve today? When I was a new nurse, focusing on what I could learn—rather than what I didn’t know—helped me break free from the pressure of perfection. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up with a mindset of possibility.
2. Challenge Your Inner Critic: Where’s the Proof?
When that voice in your head tells you that you’re not capable or that you don’t belong, challenge it. Ask yourself, Where’s the proof? More often than not, there isn’t any real evidence behind those doubts. This simple tactic has helped me both as a nurse and a coach. The next time those critical thoughts arise, stop and ask, Is this based on facts, or just fear? You’ll usually find that your inner critic has no solid ground to stand on.
3. Track Your Wins
One of the best ways to combat imposter syndrome is to track your wins. Keep a log of your accomplishments, no matter how small. When self-doubt creeps in, look back at this list to remind yourself of what you’ve achieved. Sometimes, seeing tangible proof of your progress can quiet that inner critic.
4. Focus on Learning
Imposter syndrome often tells us we need to know everything to be worthy. Shift your focus from needing to have all the answers to being open to learning. Every experience—especially the hard ones—is an opportunity to grow. Learning doesn’t mean you’re not capable; it means you’re getting better with each step.
5. Take Action: The Antidote to Doubt
When doubt sets in, action is the antidote. Even if you’re unsure, take the next step, make that decision, or trust your gut. Action builds confidence over time, and each move forward reminds you that you’re more capable than your self-doubt wants you to believe.
6. Change the Words, Change the Energy
Words have power—whether spoken out loud or in our minds. The language we use shapes how we feel. If you keep telling yourself, I’m not enough, you’ll start to believe it. But by changing the script—even when it feels awkward at first—you can shift your energy. Ask yourself, What would I say to my child, friend, or colleague who is feeling this way? Now, offer yourself that same kindness. Sometimes, a simple shift in how we speak to ourselves creates the space we need for action.
7. Shift Your Energy into Movement
Sometimes, the buildup of negative energy can make you feel on edge, overwhelmed, or stuck. One of the quickest ways to break out of that state is to move. Go for a walk, do a workout, stretch, or just get your body moving in some way. Shifting your physical energy can clear your mind and help you regain focus.
8. Trust Yourself and Keep Showing Up
Imposter syndrome loves to convince you that you’re a fraud, that you don’t belong, and that sooner or later, someone will “figure you out.” But here’s the truth: everyone feels this way at some point. The key is showing up anyway. Trust your instincts—even when they feel shaky. Just like the night I trusted my gut and spoke up about my patient’s condition, you have something valuable to offer, even when you doubt yourself. Keep showing up. Trust that each step you take builds confidence.
Bringing It Home:
In the end, remember this: It’s not a bad life; it’s a tough moment. Negative self-talk and imposter syndrome try to convince us that one bad day, one tough shift, or one failure is a reflection of our entire lives or who we are. But it’s not. You can start to take control of the narrative with the right tools for your situation. You can choose to challenge the voice in your head and shift the conversation from I’m not enough to How can I improve?
Just like that night in the hospital when I trusted my gut, it’s those moments when we choose to act despite our doubts that define us. We don’t have to be perfect—we just have to keep trying.
Next time that inner critic pipes up, ask yourself: Where’s the proof? Then take a deep breath, stand tall, and remember—each small step you take toward growth is a step toward winning the day.
You got this.
Related Content
How Box Breathing Can Calm Anxiety and Improve Focus: A Simple Guide
