Focus on What You Can Control — Why Your Efforts Matter Most in Chaos

I don’t know about you, but this week has felt... rough. Between the intensity of the election, the weird jolt from daylight saving time, and the shorter daylight hours, it’s no wonder so many of us are feeling a bit off—emotionally, physically, or both. If you’ve caught yourself frantically searching for your keys only to realize they’re in your hand, or wandered into a room with no clue why you’re there, you’re in good company. I’ve done both way too many times this week.

The last few days, I’ve heard so many of my coaching clients talking about feeling all the feels. Emotions and the lack of daylight can really mess with our peace. I found myself sharing these tactics and reminders over and over, so I thought you might need to hear them too.

When we’re feeling low or out of sorts, it’s easy to wonder if our daily efforts actually mean anything. But I’m here to tell you: your efforts matter even more when life feels chaotic.

Stay Steady in the Storm

When the world feels overwhelming and your energy is low, focusing on what you can control can be grounding. The ancient Stoic Marcus Aurelius faced wars, political strife, and a devastating plague. Yet, each morning, he prepared himself for the challenges ahead, writing: “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Despite the chaos, Marcus focused on his own mind and actions, leading with integrity. He couldn’t stop the invasions or cure the plague, but he guided Rome with resolve and calm. We can learn a great deal from his example. While we can’t control the turmoil outside our windows, we can anchor ourselves in what we can influence. Think of yourself as a lighthouse in the storm: strong, steady, and shining a light for those who need it, including yourself.

What We Can’t Control Versus What We Can

It’s hard to accept how little control we have, and boy, do we want to hold on to it. But there are forces we can’t bend to our will. Problems, no matter how deeply we care, may unfold beyond our influence. Other people’s opinions and decisions are shaped by experiences we’ll never fully understand. The Earth will keep tilting, bringing shorter, darker days. Headlines and global events will continue relentlessly. People’s unpredictable actions and feelings will always be beyond our control.

Yet even when we face these uncontrollable forces, we have the power to choose how we respond. Our inner world is where we hold the reins. We can choose our mindset and reactions, showing up for each moment, no matter how tough. I know I’ve said this in many different ways in past newsletters, but it bears repeating: we can double down on the basics—nourishing food, hydration, sunlight, regular movement. Quality sleep paired with intentional rest keeps us clear-headed and resilient. Acts of connection—whether calling a friend or offering a helping hand—strengthen us and those around us, creating a ripple effect of stability and hope. Practices like journaling, meditation, or stepping away from the noise bring balance and perspective.

When you feel like there’s nothing you can do, those basics are what you can do. Good habits become our anchors, steadying us when life feels turbulent. It sounds almost too simple, but trust me, I need to remind myself of this, too. Even when I know what works, I have to consciously pull myself back to these practices to stay grounded.

Focus on the Good

Just as it’s important to choose how we respond, it’s equally important to choose where we place our focus. Do we dwell on the bad, or do we shift our attention to the good? Even in hard times, we can direct our focus and find sparks of good worth leaning into.

Personal growth often emerges from adversity, building the mental and physical strength that carries us through future storms. Acts of kindness, no matter how small, spark hope and connection. Holding the door for someone or sending a thoughtful text can brighten a day and remind us of our shared humanity. Practicing gratitude—finding even the smallest things to appreciate—shifts our mindset from scarcity to abundance. It could be savoring your morning coffee or feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin.

Tiny moments of joy can uplift us. They don’t have to be grand—maybe it’s laughing at a funny video, watching a sunset, or hugging someone you love. These reminders show that even amid chaos, life holds meaningful joys. Learning something new can boost your mood, whether it’s picking up a hobby, reading an interesting article, or trying a new skill. Growth keeps us engaged and hopeful.

And finally, celebrate small wins. Recognize your achievements, even if they seem minor. Made it to the gym? Cooked a healthy meal? Got through a tough day at work? These are victories worth honoring. By choosing to focus on the good, you reinforce a sense of purpose and strength, keeping your inner fire burning even through the darkest nights.

Bringing It Home

Marcus Aurelius reminds us that while we cannot control outside events, self-mastery—and hope—come from how we choose to respond. Like a lighthouse standing tall in the storm, you have the power to shine even when the waves are crashing around you.

Every time you fuel your body, move with purpose, protect your peace, or give yourself the rest you deserve, you’re laying the groundwork for a brighter future. Every act of kindness, moment of gratitude, and step forward matters. The strongest people aren’t the ones who avoid hardship, but those who face it head-on, taking responsibility for what they can control and holding a fierce hope for better days.

So keep showing up, keep moving forward, and trust that your strength is building something extraordinary. Even when the storm feels relentless, remember: your light can guide you—and others—through the darkness. As long as you choose to keep shining, there is always hope to be found.

You got this.